5th May 2007

Leaving the house at 6.45am, my Dad and I met in town with a bunch of people from the Church, loaded our motorised sofa (borrowed from a member of the Church) with passengers and left in convoy for Alton Towers - a theme park where we were to spend the day. My Dad being included in the party was kind of a last-minute arrangement, but I was glad of it (at least there would be somebody to keep me company - somebody guaranteed to be on my wavelength and to keep my mind off a certain person).

My hopes of sticking close to my Dad (and therefore retaining my sanity through maintaining a certain distance from said person) were almost doomed, however, before the journey even began. As we were waiting for the rest of the crew to arrive at our meeting point, before assigning passengers to drivers, BS peered 'round the open car door, saying to me,
"I've put you in a car with MD, if that's alright?", he paused, "It's just that I'm trying to put all the kids with their friends...".
As much as know that - realistically - it's best for me to keep my distance from MD, all any girl ever hopes for is that these sorts of fluke "opportunities" will arise - thus (it's supposed) starting an inevitable chain of events that will eventually lead to the words that she wants to hear from his mouth. In other words, I was perfectly willing to leap out of the car at that very moment. "Dad will get over it", I thought fleetingly. Dad! No, this wouldn't do for him at all. His daughter leaving him to the mercy of 6 youths that he didn't even know - for the entire journey there, when he'd given up his whole day to help out, to be with her - just because she wanted to spend time with some guy, flogging a dead horse, getting disappointed. No, I couldn't do it. And I shouldn't.

Thankfully BS, who knew all about my feelings for MD as well as the fact that he didn't return them, got the hint and saved me from myself - kindly deciding to change plan.

The day itself? Well, the first half comprised me and my Dad wandering around aimlessly, without a map, him refusing to go on rides because he was "too old for them" and me refusing to go on them because "there's no way I'm queuing that long". Pretty bad. The second half of the day was marginally better, however, as we tagged along with a small group of guys from the church (fortunately or unfortunately one of them being MD) and made a pact to actually go on some of the rides...

The third part of the day, however, was my favourite. The Christian concert we went to that evening. It was hosted by Alton Towers and sponsored by ultimate events (http://www.ultimateevents.org.uk/altontowersintro.aspx) and compassionuk.org. Acts included Delirious?, Toby Mac and Ayiesha Woods. I love live music; the bands were great. But the best thing about it was the amazing sense of christian fellowship. There was a huge crowd - about 6000 people all bunched together - and everyone really engaging with the worship and receptive of God's holy spirit. It was great to go crazy, jumping up and down and throwing our arms in the air shamelessly.

To summarise...

Things that were good about today
- Spending time with my Dad;
- Realising that I am capable of exercising self-discipline when it comes acting out of my feelings for MD;
- The sense of christian fellowship I experienced at the concert.

Things that were bad about today
- The challenges presented by liking MD - tests of character and of faith, trying not to hope for anything, trying to act in my own best interests, trying to reassure myself that anything that takes place in my life should be God's will first and foremost.